This happened say some 3-4 years back and I am still grappling for answers to the questions this small incident made me ask myself. The incident, a very trivial in a sense, gave me a plethora of questions, answers to which seem farther...
It happened so...
While driving through the traffic on Delhi roads, on this really warm day, I was fretting about the A/C not working fine. May be the German car air-conditioner cannot cater to the above 40 degree Celsius temperature of Delhi, to cool the interiors. On the roads, as Delhi is always, full of people, sweltering in the heat and still going about with their regular chores. Selling, bargaining, buying and begging.
There are many water sellers and ice lolly sellers on the roads doing brisk business in this heat. The car stopped at one of the signals. "too long of a signal", complained my driver, glancing at the seconds quickly counting down. Suddenly saw a lady... may be a girl, wearing a saree, her head covered with the "pallu" at the red light, tagging her child by hand and another one in her arms. Must be a young mother of about 22 years with 2 kids already in tow, and don't know how many more in the house.
Watching the ice lollies, the elder one's eyes glowed! What better can anything be other than these lollies in this scorching heat... his eyes said. He tugged at his mother's saree and pointed towards the seller. For a moment... just for a second may be, the child in the mother also came up... Her eyes too gave away the same thoughts as of her son. But it was just a flicker of a second, and then she just dragged her son past the lolly seller.
That moment, I wanted to get down from the car and buy the ice lollies for those three kids, yes three of them and give them a moment of happiness. But I could not. Many thoughts came running, "will she take it from me", "would she approve of this gesture," "what if she refuses"... and with a sudden honk from the car behind, I was brought back from my thoughts. The driver had already started the engine and had driven past the mother and her children.
I kept on thinking, what held me back from getting off the car and giving them a surprise? Definitely not finances. Was it the young mother's pride or her determination or understanding of her finances? Or was it was my ego; what if she refused? Though I wanted to do it, I had already termed myself "generous" and a refusal would have busted that false balloon. I was afraid, about my reaction and dejection, if at all a refusal had come. And what if she had accepted it? The joy on their faces, would have given me Joy? Or a story for me to tell all, about how I just did some good gesture?
I was confused and still am.
It is difficult! Difficult to do something selflessly, to not to think about it or boast about it, but just to feel good about it. I did not have the courage, nor did I have the belief in my own self. If only I had, the story would be different for sure. This would have been a really small gesture... nothing big.
It is only one in thousands and crores, who can become a Baba or Prakash Amte or Mother Teresa... no wonder!
Tuesday, May 26, 2020
Wednesday, May 20, 2020
Ramayan as I read it...
Heard the Ramayan stories from my mother as a child. The name Ayodhya got etched on my mind, for the river Sharayu, than that of birth place of Lord Ram. Because Sharayu aunty, our neighbour, was one of my favourite aunts then!
As per the all very typical Marathi middle class Brahman families, my mother had taught me the "Raamraksha", which was supposed to be recited every evening, when mom would light a diya in her "deoghar". The Raamraksha is a long verse in Sanskrit, praising Lord Ram, his looks, his knowledge, his strength, him being the best king... basically all the goods that can be showered upon a man. Later came the beautiful rendition of "Geet Ramayan" by Sudhir Phadke and Ga. Di. Madgulkar. This had some hummable music, all about Ram and Ramayan.
But every time when I heard the story, I would stumble to call Ram "Maryada Purushottam"; the ideal man! I would feel bad... very bad for Shurpanakha, who was brutally punished for no such big reason. Later I would feel bad for Sita... of course, but would also be annoyed with her for being such a subservient lady. Very soon I stopped my evening recitation of the Raamraksha and the evening prayers to the utter angst from relatives, surprisingly not from my Mom.
I had pestered her a lot during my child hood with my most childlike queries. "How come Ram & Lakshman are always clean shaven even in their "wanwaas" in the jungles? What would they eat aai? They could not grow vegetables, so how did they become strong to fight Ravan?" My mom always ignored such questions by giving the typical answers, that they were Gods, so they could do anything etcetra.
Growing up and reading made me ask more questions, this time during some conversations with relatives.
Me: "Why did Sita want Ram to kill the Golden Deer?"
Relative 01: " to make a blouse from the hide, don't you know?"
Me: " but weren't they in banishment and supposed to live an ascetic life?"
Relative 02: " That was mainly for Ram, Sita was not supposed to be banished, but she followed her husband."
Me.: " Ok so she was allowed to have desires! But isn't it very cruel to kill the animal only for its hide?
Relative 02: That was the way of life during those days, you see.
Me: Or do you think, it was for the meat as well, that they wanted to kill the animal. Two in one you see!
Relative 03: What nonsense! Ram wouldn't kill an animal for his meat!
Me: But you just said, that was the way of life then, how else do you think they would survive for 14 years in the jungles? they had to eat animals!
Relative 01: What have you taught your daughters? No "sanskar" at all.
And my Mom would pull me out.
Today, when I see the effigies of Ravan, Kumbhakarn & Meghnad, being burnt on Dushera festival, I get perturbed. Why do we have to be so cruel? We have been burning these effigies year after year and generations after generations? We are told, it symbolizes the win of good over evil. Well... who decides who is good and who is evil? If Ravan abducted Sita, it was as a vengeance for abusing his sister by Ram and Lakshman. And actually, Ravan, as I read, was a great human being.
A scholar, a capable ruler and master of many arts, Ravan was also a great devotee of Lord Shiva. His home, Lanka, was known as Golden Lanka, which meant prosperous Lanka. He is shown with 10 heads, which actually is manifestation depicting his command over the 6 shastras and the 4 vedas.
On the other hand, was the prince of Ayodhya, actually an equal to him? Probably not. Ravan was assassinated deceitfully, else, he would never been killed. All these years one question persistently crops its head... why did Ram choose the southern part of India for his banishment? Why not the north or the east? It seems this was a pre-planned banishment. The southern part of India, which was rich with flora and fauna was vast region. Ruled by Ravan. As per the culture then, there were many matriarchal tribes down south which was against the values of the Suryavanshi clan which Lord Ram belonged to.
Was it done deliberately, to abolish this trend and establish the Aryan culture down south also? Shabri, Anjani were leaders of their own tribes. Tara could re-marry after her husband's demise. Did this equal status for women in these parts disturb the Aryans? The Dravidians, lived with nature. The monkey king, the vulture king, all seem to be clans or tribes worshiping the animal or calling the animal as their mentor. The Aryans definitely found it to be un-civilized. Definition of civilization as per them was "power" "authority" and "dominance". A civilized society was the one which, over powered everything which came it's way.
What else can explain the agony Sita had to suffer throughout her life? Ramayan speaks highly of Lakshman and his brotherly love, what about Urmila, his wife, whom he left behind for 14 years? Neither the Raamraksha nor the various versions of Ramyan, ever answered any of these questions. The so called religious and "sanskaari" relatives ignored these questions. The unconditional love of Sita for Ram was great, but my words stumble, again, to say Ram loved and respected Sita equally! He might have been a fine ruler, but definitely not the "ideal man"!
Suvarna
PS: After a few feed backs received, i would like to clarify, in my perception Ram and Ravan, both are human beings and nothing to do with "Dev and Danav"
As per the all very typical Marathi middle class Brahman families, my mother had taught me the "Raamraksha", which was supposed to be recited every evening, when mom would light a diya in her "deoghar". The Raamraksha is a long verse in Sanskrit, praising Lord Ram, his looks, his knowledge, his strength, him being the best king... basically all the goods that can be showered upon a man. Later came the beautiful rendition of "Geet Ramayan" by Sudhir Phadke and Ga. Di. Madgulkar. This had some hummable music, all about Ram and Ramayan.
But every time when I heard the story, I would stumble to call Ram "Maryada Purushottam"; the ideal man! I would feel bad... very bad for Shurpanakha, who was brutally punished for no such big reason. Later I would feel bad for Sita... of course, but would also be annoyed with her for being such a subservient lady. Very soon I stopped my evening recitation of the Raamraksha and the evening prayers to the utter angst from relatives, surprisingly not from my Mom.
I had pestered her a lot during my child hood with my most childlike queries. "How come Ram & Lakshman are always clean shaven even in their "wanwaas" in the jungles? What would they eat aai? They could not grow vegetables, so how did they become strong to fight Ravan?" My mom always ignored such questions by giving the typical answers, that they were Gods, so they could do anything etcetra.
 |
| Various phases of Lord Ram's life depicted at the Hazar Ram temple in Hampi |
Me: "Why did Sita want Ram to kill the Golden Deer?"
Relative 01: " to make a blouse from the hide, don't you know?"
Me: " but weren't they in banishment and supposed to live an ascetic life?"
Relative 02: " That was mainly for Ram, Sita was not supposed to be banished, but she followed her husband."
Me.: " Ok so she was allowed to have desires! But isn't it very cruel to kill the animal only for its hide?
Relative 02: That was the way of life during those days, you see.
Me: Or do you think, it was for the meat as well, that they wanted to kill the animal. Two in one you see!
Relative 03: What nonsense! Ram wouldn't kill an animal for his meat!
Me: But you just said, that was the way of life then, how else do you think they would survive for 14 years in the jungles? they had to eat animals!
Relative 01: What have you taught your daughters? No "sanskar" at all.
And my Mom would pull me out.
Today, when I see the effigies of Ravan, Kumbhakarn & Meghnad, being burnt on Dushera festival, I get perturbed. Why do we have to be so cruel? We have been burning these effigies year after year and generations after generations? We are told, it symbolizes the win of good over evil. Well... who decides who is good and who is evil? If Ravan abducted Sita, it was as a vengeance for abusing his sister by Ram and Lakshman. And actually, Ravan, as I read, was a great human being.
A scholar, a capable ruler and master of many arts, Ravan was also a great devotee of Lord Shiva. His home, Lanka, was known as Golden Lanka, which meant prosperous Lanka. He is shown with 10 heads, which actually is manifestation depicting his command over the 6 shastras and the 4 vedas.
 |
| The Ten headed "Lankapati" Ravan. |
Was it done deliberately, to abolish this trend and establish the Aryan culture down south also? Shabri, Anjani were leaders of their own tribes. Tara could re-marry after her husband's demise. Did this equal status for women in these parts disturb the Aryans? The Dravidians, lived with nature. The monkey king, the vulture king, all seem to be clans or tribes worshiping the animal or calling the animal as their mentor. The Aryans definitely found it to be un-civilized. Definition of civilization as per them was "power" "authority" and "dominance". A civilized society was the one which, over powered everything which came it's way.
What else can explain the agony Sita had to suffer throughout her life? Ramayan speaks highly of Lakshman and his brotherly love, what about Urmila, his wife, whom he left behind for 14 years? Neither the Raamraksha nor the various versions of Ramyan, ever answered any of these questions. The so called religious and "sanskaari" relatives ignored these questions. The unconditional love of Sita for Ram was great, but my words stumble, again, to say Ram loved and respected Sita equally! He might have been a fine ruler, but definitely not the "ideal man"!
Suvarna
PS: After a few feed backs received, i would like to clarify, in my perception Ram and Ravan, both are human beings and nothing to do with "Dev and Danav"
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